Philippians 1:12 Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel.
"There are two ways to look at every situation: How it will affect you, and how it will affect God's kingdom."
Not being a psychiatrist, I would not even venture a guess as to how I have developed such a fatalistic attitude, but when I read a verse such as today's, I immediately wonder what will "go wrong" so that I will have the opportunity to apply the Biblical principle from the day's reading. Then my mind begins to rehash all the horrible things I have done in my life and wonder when the other shoe will fall and God will give me my just desserts.
For me, grace is an easier concept to grasp than mercy. I can understand God gifting me with blessings I do not deserve. All I have do to is look at my life to realize His grace far outreaches my "deserving". But mercy--that is much harder for me to internalize. To not receive punishment for the countless times I have sinned against God and others!? You goof up, you get whacked. It's that simple. But not for God.
For a child of God, consequences accompany sin, but punishment is not part of the equation. Discipline, redirection, yes. "Smiting", no.
Maybe this lack of mercy internalization is what is keeping me from experiencing the joy of being a child of God. Maybe that constant fear of retribution for my sin is robbing me of the contentment of my salvation.
Heavenly Father, please help me to trust in and embrace your mercy as much as I have Your grace.
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